Having promised to go back to work this Monday (ugh… freaking out about that one, but that’s another blog…), I decided to take some time away from our family home and get back to the wonderfully anonymous, stinky, polluted haven of the Big Smoke. This was not about avoiding grief and strengthening The Wall. Quite the contrary – I’m starting to discover that short, sharp, controlled bursts of peeking behind the wall are extremely therapeutic, not to mention cathartic. So, here was my weekend of therapy and controlled Wall-peeking:
Saturday morning: Got up bright and early. Dog walk in the spring sunshine. Did the washing up as a favour to my sister who I am abandoning for the weekend. Drove the 2.5hr journey from Abergavenny to London. Listened to some music I love – yes, some brought back memories of Mum and led to a few tears (but not too many… eyes on the road).
Saturday afternoon: Gym for an hour, only to discover that when I’m on the treadmill/cross-trainer/etc. my mind is blissfully blank. Food shopping. Cheeky nap.
Saturday evening: Cooking, my absolute favourite therapy. Two of my supreme bezzies round for dinner, drinks, facemasks. Definite Wall-breakage as we have a good old cry together. Feels good.
Sunday morning: Not much. More washing up while the husband sleeps. Watch morning TV (cooking shows, what else).
Sunday afternoon: Try to catch up with homework for my Swedish evening classes. Have a mini breakdown as I realise that life, work, homework, financial situation, etc. etc. is completely overwhelming and I feel to weak to handle it. Breakdown averted by a walk and some delicious Vietnamese food for lunch.
Sunday evening: Make our way to Hammersmith Appollo to watch one of my favourite bands of all time, Elbow (Christmas present from husband). Beautiful, emotional, powerful, inspirational. Musical healing. Dirty takeaway on the way home and a crappy film to send us to sleep.
Monday morning: the fun begins… oh help.